Say a Prayer for the Mar-a-Lago Busboys: Donald Trump Was Just Fined $1 Million for His Very Frivolous Clinton Lawsuit

Something you might have picked up on over the last half decade is that Donald Trump has issues with Hillary Clinton and also loves to file frivolous lawsuits. (He’s also been on the receiving end of many a not frivolous suit, but that’s another story for another time.) Anyway, these two things collided last March when the ex-president sued his 2016 opponent and claimed—in actual court documents—that Clinton had attempted to “destroy his life.” Yes, the kind of accusation more typically made by teenagers when their parents don’t allow them to get a cell phone or go to the mall. In the 108-page suit, Trump alleged that Clinton and others (the Democratic National Committee, former FBI director James Comey, White House national security adviser Jake Sullivan, etc.) had “orchestrated an unthinkable plot” to undermine his 2016 campaign and subsequently his administration, by “weav[ing] a false narrative” that Trump “was colluding with a hostile foreign sovereignty,” i.e. Russia. While the allegations were both broad and baseless, the essential premise was that Clinton and her pals had attempted to take Trump down through illegal espionage and other schemes. Trump and his attorneys claimed the alleged conspiracy fell under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act—i.e. the law that was originally passed to prosecute the Mafia—and demanded more than $72 million in damages.

Unfortunately for the former guy, a federal judge did not believe the lawsuit was worth the paper it was printed on, and on Thursday let him know. In a 46-page ruling, US district judge Donald Middlebrooks wrote: “This case should never have been brought. Its inadequacy as a legal claim was evident from the start. No reasonable lawyer would have filed it. Intended for a political purpose, none of the counts of the amended complaint stated a cognizable legal claim.” Making it abundantly clear that he has the ex-president’s number, Middlebrooks added: “Mr. Trump is a prolific and sophisticated litigant who is repeatedly using the courts to seek revenge on political adversaries. He is the mastermind of strategic abuse of the judicial process, and he cannot be seen as a litigant blindly following the advice of a lawyer. He knew full well the impact of his actions.”

In addition to having his ass handed to him by a member of the judiciary, Trump and the lawyer who filed the case for him, Alina Habba, were fined $937,989.39.

If the name Habba sounds familiar to you, it’s because she’s been working on some of Trump’s most high-profile cases—cases that no respectable attorney wanted to touch with a million-foot poll. Following the FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago in August, Habba went on TV and suggested the government had planted evidence, a claim neither she nor her boss have been able to back up. She was also present while Trump was deposed last October in the E. Jean Carroll rape case, and had to explain to the 45th president that a photo of his accuser was not, in fact, his second ex-wife, Marla Maples.

Neither a spokesman for Trump nor Habba responded to The New York Times’ request for comment, though if we know our ex-president— and we think we do!—he’s just busy putting the final touches on a fully unhinged statement re: “Crooked Hillary,” the deep state, Russia, and witch hunts to be released on Truth Social in short order.